Year of Change

Behold the year of change; altering the perspective from childhood to adulthood and back to childhood. A bit of history, of family and pure unadulterated love and fun, crosses my mind as I sit in our home marveling my favorite Christmas tree to date. My childhood Christmases were filled with laughter, soul warming food, glittering gifts, steep hill sledding, ice forts, and the safest set of people in the world to me, my parents and two brothers. I couldn't tell you one thing I didn't love at our house in December as a child.

Now, 28 years later, the change I find myself confronted with is beyond anything I could have construed in my mind. An obsessive worrier, I am oddly amused and thankful my childhood's natural immaturity didn't allow me to even fathom what was to become of Christmas. My emotional side screams tragedy, but my work-in-progress maturity calmly replies with faith and basic principles of life; we cannot plan for the good and bad, we can just be.

For the first time ever, I will not be celebrating Christmas with the family who raised and molded me into the person I am today. There isn't enough cyber space to explain why so I won't. I'd like to call it a too-complicated-unless-you've-been-through-it change and not particularly an it's-all-your-fault kind of thing. Hurt goes in so many directions. I am thankful for and have fond memories of my childhood. Unfortunately life doesn't always fall into the place you thought it would. It feels something like lingering in shallow water with what you should know as family swimming away and a new life calling you onto the sand with a warm towel. Awaiting with patience and understanding you always dreamt of having in a husband. This is a bewildering confusion; a family once so close knit doesn't even feel like family. I wonder how many families go through something like this? But for every hardship, there is a reason and with it comes many blessings.

This may ooze feelings you had when parents kissed in front of you, but I really like my husband. When I see a picture of him I honestly think to myself, "I really love him." And it makes me smile to think of us together in our thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, etc. With Christmas almost here, I get extra lovey because we fell in love in December six years ago. This is the first year since Jada was born that Christmas feels real for our family. A lot has happened in the last three years that made the holidays unholiday-like. Again, I'll withhold the gory details. This year we bundled up to get a tree at a local spot, but decided to go with a cheaper one at Fred Meyer. It was tied up, but we thought it would be fun to be surprised. We couldn't have picked a more perfect tree. It's not just the tree's lavishing May family decor and delicious smell, I think maybe my perspective as an adult, mommy, and wife has found some sense of peace and is affecting my outlook. Two thousand-nine has changed my perspective on life and death; on drawing the line when your health and well-being are at stake; on the hard work and dedication (main ingredients: insanity and laughter) it takes to raise kids and coexist with your spouse; on how important it is to be a good friend if you want good friends; on being aware of negativity and how it can effect all areas of your life; and on how I lucked out finding the most genuine husband, dad, and friend in the world. I've married someone who makes me want to be a better person and who will help me work on getting there each day.

This is a great Christmas season. Our little monster/dragon/princess/baby-loving daughter met Santa's reindeer, told us she wants to see Santa but "no sit on his lap," helped daddy make the famous May chex mix, has already made a dozen Xmas art projects, and squeals with delight with the mention of Santa, cartoons, or presents. And Parker James is little boy wonder! Who knew babies could be so easy? We sure didn't. His birth was the biggest joy of 2009 and I am sure he was given to us this year for a reason.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Yard Sale Shenanigans

First, I need to mention that having a yard sale in Seattle is nothing like it is in Wenatchee. The 100 pounds of plastic toys, piles of baby clothes, and bbq would have sold before the sale even started in Wenatchee. Early birds would have swooped in and drove off within 5 minutes, leaving only dust from the tires as they head for their next prey. Seattleites never show up early, not because they are lazy, but because they haven't had their morning bike ride, latte from their favorite family owned cafe, and a quick chat with their plants (we saw our neighbor talking to one of hers today). Wenatchee folk are in and out and can devour an entire sale in minutes. Sellers like the quick money (we made a hundred dollars in less than an hour in Wenatchee). On the other hand, I have a much deeper appreciation for Seattle yard sales after today. People crack me up.

An older man in a flannel and his dog left and came back three times. He needed a jacket for fishing and we had a perfect Northface one we picked up at a garage sale, but it was priced a little high for him. His third time back he laughed and bought the jacket for full price. He made me smile because he was a sweet guy. And he was a perfect example of my biggest Seattle hypothesis: Most dog owners have a very close resemblance to their pet. I love it. It makes me think that every connection on this planet happens for a reason.

At the end of the sale we had all our junk in bags ready to load up into the car when a bigger lady wearing a carpal tunnel brace on her wrist (she told us all about it) searched our bags and found at least $20 worth. After a good half hour of sitting there waiting for her we gave her some bags. Kelven walked over to add the prices up, but she continued to talk nonstop all the while throwing two bags full of stuff into her car without paying us a dime! I was fine because I figured she must have thought it was all free at this point, but we certainly didn't say this to her. Kelven is convinced she is a con artist and still hasn't let it go. Hmmmmm, wonder what she was thinking as she drove off...suckers!

Last Xmas my dad bought us a train to go around the tree. I have the one from our childhood so we decided to sell the one from my dad. Near the end of the day a nice guy in his fifties looked at it for a long time after asking if it worked (which it did). After another couple minutes he decided to get it. Nobody before him even looked at it. As he was walking off he looked back, smiled and said, "Good luck with your sale today." I find that many men fifty and up really enjoy trains and I was extremely happy that such a kind man will get to set a train up around his tree for his family. His smile and genuine kindness reminded me of my dad and the small transaction made my day.

*Absolute favorite part of the day.
A quirky man (about the same age and build of Judah Friedlander from Thirty Rock) went straight for our small pile of books. He pulled one from the pile and giggled to himself, looked up and asked us if one of us had really read it. I could tell instantly that he was probably one of the funniest guys anybody had ever met. You can just tell with people like that. I said yes and he laughed in pure disbelief. And I preceeded to tell him it was during college when I drank a lot. He handed me fifty cents with a big hilarious smile on his face and walked off shaking his head still laughing. The book was called Clay Aiken Learning to Sing Hearing the Music in Your Life. Either he had the perfect person to give the gag gift to or he was going to place it on his coffee table for everyone to see. We were humiliated and yet proud to be the seed of the flower.

Jada and daddy love their cartoons and Cougs! These two have become quite the pair - giggles, kisses, and cuddles consume most of their time.

Not Yet...

Nothing new for the pregnant girl, but am hopeful it will be soon. The weather has been fantastic over here. Jada and I spend so much time hanging out on the deck that I thought I should get some big sister pics before Parker gets here.

This is the only pic I got of the shower. Does anyone have more? I need to thank everyone for coming over to celebrate Parker! We are lucky to have such wonderful people in our lives. We now have everything we need and are ready for him. I have an appointment today so I'll update with any good news:)

This was me at almost 38 weeks and I am currently 39 weeks. He has definitely dropped since this picture. It was so cool to actually feel him drop last Saturday, though I was sure it meant he was coming real soon. I should have known better with Jada coming on the 8th when her due date was the 2nd.

Do we look alike? I think we are pretty close in age here.

Jada and I spent the day down by the space needle while Kelven was downtown for work.

Girls are so precious. Kelven and I love having a daughter and can't wait to see what a son will bring to our family dynamic. More to post soon...

Here I am 35 1/2 weeks along! We have finally decided on a name...Parker James May. After endless lists online and mega frustration that nothing fit, we decided on our way to tour the hospital. We were so excited until I realized that was one of Shannon and Brian's top choices. We are sorry, but we have to do it. Please still be our friends.

Here's Jada enjoying another rainy Seattle day. She loves to tell Kelven and me to "come on!" Today she looked up at me from the couch and said, "Cuddles?" and scooted closer to me. Oh, I love it. Is it weird to hope she wants to cuddle the rest of her life? And she woke up this morning to tell us that she loves Evie.

I love two year olds! Jada has developed such a cute imagination. She pretends to be animals, loves her baby dolls more than anything, and teaches me valuable insights during our days together. Did you know that cats go into the sky to fly? Or that you have to sing the goodnight song to Jada, mommy, daddy, nana, papa, great-nana, great-papa, Stacy, Derek, Evie, the door, the baseball, etc. If I didn't list your name, trust me, we sing goodnight to you too!

She also sings all day long. Here is a shot of her singing "kinkle, kinkle, little star." She has the sweetest rendition of "Where is Thumbkin?" using only the words "Uncle Trever." She is right on with her notes and tone.

We are getting really excited about this little man. It took us until about a month ago to let go of the stressful idea of not sleeping and truly look forward to having another one around. This probably sounds horrible, but in our defense it has been quite a year. Kelven and I were feeling the rut of daily routine, but have made some big improvements in our relationship and daily lives. We are working on that connection we had before kids and I have to say just being aware of our needs as individuals has helped us a lot. It is easy to focus on work and kids and forget that our marriage is a something that we should take time to put energy into. Life seems so much more fulfilling when he and I are feeling connected.

Our landlord is moving back into this house next March so we are again deciding where to pack up and go next. Probably sounds stressful for those of you who own a house, but renting makes moving pretty easy. God definitely has a plan for us and we cannot be anything but thankful for the way things have turned out so far. Kelven got RIF'd from his job at Ballard, but may be able to squeeze back into his position. If not, we will be looking for another job, too. He would be bummed to leave his job at Ballard. Fortunately, we have another bundle of joy to show us what really matters in life.

I also want to thank all my friends for making the trip over to see me after my dad passed away. You guys have no idea the impact you have on my life. I truly love all you girls. I'm sure I was still in shock when you were here. Most the time I am okay, but there is definitely a heartache that doesn't go away. It's not always easy to talk about him and I have my moments of tears, but I think I have a good grip on what his life meant and how his love will live on in me. I recently came across a quote that reminded me of my dad. "The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose." Reflecting back on what many wrote on his website, my dad definitely served a purpose. Thinking of him makes me smile.

At the coffee shop with Jada

Our Little Boy

Happy Birthday, Jada